3 things NOT to do in an interview

Do you ever feel you never get any really juicy insights? 

At the end of the interviews, the only information you managed to get out of them was so surface level that you everyone around you was like “yeah, we sort of already knew that”

Yet, you know those people who do interviews and find these game changing insights that you were nowhere close to finding. How come?

Did they just ask the best questions in the world? Maybe…. 

Or was it how they asked those questions.

The 3 things to avoid in an interview

1. Dive straight into the deep end

Would you bare your soul to someone you'd just met? Course not. Yet somehow we expect participants to spill their deepest insights within the first five minutes.

Think of it like a first date - nobody appreciates being interrogated about their life goals before you've even ordered drinks. We can all probably relate feeling a bit on the defensive, tailoring are answers to what we think we should say.

When people feel psychologically safe, they shift from defensive processing to exploratory thinking. Amy Edmondson's research shows that psychological safety enables people to take interpersonal risks and share genuine thoughts rather than sanitised "safe" answers (Edmondson, 1999; 2023).

The brain's threat detection system is constantly scanning for social danger so establishing rapport and trust is foundational for success. When participants feel safe and comfortable, they share in-depth, genuine insights rather than guarded or superficial answers (DiCicco-Bloom & Crabtree, 2006)

2. Cling to your script like a life raft

Scripts are safety blankets, but they're also conversation killers. When you're rigidly following questions, you miss the raised eyebrow, the hesitation, the "actually, what I really think is..." moment that leads somewhere unexpected. You become blind to the micro-expressions, voice changes, and body language that signal when someone's about to reveal something important.

Picture this: your participant mentions something intriguing, but it's not on your list. Do you explore it, or do you tick the box and move on?

Here's what's happening neurologically: genuine listening activates mirror neurons - the brain cells that help us understand and connect with others. But when you're focused on your next question, you're in task-focused mode, which actually suppresses this mirroring response. 

Real connection happens when your brain synchronises with theirs. You start noticing when someone's voice changes, when they lean forward, when they suddenly get animated. These are the breadcrumbs that lead to breakthrough insights, but only if your neural networks aren't busy rehearsing question seven (Brinkmann, 2013).

3. Fearing the silence

Silence feels awkward. We want to fill it, fix it, make it go away. Don't.
That pause after your question? That's not dead air - that's thinking time. Most of us are terrified of those few seconds of quiet, so we jump in with clarifications, rephrase the question, or worse, answer it ourselves.

Here's the neuroscience: silence triggers the brain's default mode network - the neural circuit that activates during rest and introspection.

This is where insight formation happens. We're naturally wired to avoid social tension, so we'll keep talking to fill those gaps, but when you interrupt that process, you're literally cutting off access to deeper thoughts. Therapists have known this forever: give people space to reflect, and they'll give you their real thoughts (Stivers et al., 2023).

Think of it like this: their first response is usually System 1 thinking - fast, automatic, surface-level. The silence gives System 2 time to engage - slower, more deliberate, and much more revealing (Kahneman, D. 2011). 

The bottom line?

Great interviews aren't just about what you ask - it's when you ask it, how you ask it, and crucially, when you know to shut up and listen. Master these three things, and you'll join the ranks of those annoyingly good interviewers who somehow always uncover the insights the rest of us miss.

Trust the process, embrace the awkward, and remember: the best conversations rarely follow the script.

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